June 24 2008

– Detectives investigating a robbery were today accused of issuing the world’s worst photo-fit picture of the suspect.

Police were hoping the image would help them identify a man they believe stole the life savings from a 98-year-old woman.

But bemused locals who have seen the picture say it could be anyone – and have even mistaken the baseball cap-wearing figure for R&B star Usher or Michael Jackson.

Photo-fit of robber

Any clue? The image was circulated by South Wales Police in Pontypool

All of the face that’s revealed by the e-fit is the  tip of the suspect’s  nose and his mouth.

And despite looking like a ‘teenage chav’ , Police, who circulated the image in Pontypool, South Wales, say the man they are looking for is aged between 40 and 50

But the town’s residents have been left scratching their heads while trying to figure out who among them it could be.

Photo-fit of robber

Mistaken identity: One local said the e-fit looked like Usher because of the cap

Plumber Jamie O’Leary, 26, said: ‘I’ve seen about 50 men in baseball caps today – it’s like a uniform around here.

‘That could be anyone – I thought it was Michael Jackson or Usher to start with.’

And office worker Janet Coombes, 37, said: ‘You have to laugh when you see it.

‘Perhaps it is a deliberate ploy to get people looking at the picture – because they say comedy is the best way of advertising.’

The capped-raider escaped with the woman’s savings after claiming he was a water board official.

He is described as white, 5ft 10 inches tall, clean shaven with a narrow chin and broad across the shoulders.

Gwent Police yesterday defended the photo-fit picture saying it could provide them with a clue to the criminal’s identity.

A spokeswoman: ‘This incident was a particularly nasty attack on a vulnerable person.

‘This picture has been issued as it is the only description we have at this stage.

‘Sometimes the smallest of details can jog someone’s memory and bring about significant leads.’

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About Jumpin' Jack Cash

Deep connections are the most important aspect of my existence. I don’t care if people don’t know what they want. I love books. I’m cynical of love stories, although I’m romantic. I adore gardens. I like women who challenge me. I love the rain as an excuse to stay inside and dream. I'm furiously impatient. If I ask you a question best to tell me the truth as I'm likely to already know the answer. I'm a carnivore. I continuously underestimate the magic of fresh flowers in my home. I love warm rain in the summer. My mood elevates to epic proportions when the sun shines. Tell me not to do something and I'll do it twice and take photos. Running is my antidepressant. I loathe lies. I rarely forgive a lie. Loyalty and honesty are my most noble virtues, and I value them more than anything in other people. I love to love, and am able to fall in love very quickly, although it's only ever happened once. I understood myself and fixed myself only after destroying myself. My greatest excitement comes from deliberately getting lost in foreign cities. I can be extremely loud and frighteningly silent. I hate insinuations. I love storms. Justice for all. I'm a proud man, but welcome the influence of the feminine soul. I have two sisters. I’m a dreamer. I’m a deep thinker. Don’t deal with guilt trips or drama that well. I'm extremely stubborn and persistent. I'm brilliant at keeping secrets. I love driving. I become absolutely and completely lost while watching a burning fire. When the toast pops from the toaster I’m never ready and shit myself. I play the guitar, but require much improvement. Solitude and warmth of the sun are perfect together. I’ve been married once and now divorced. I’m a music junkie. Chocolate mousse is the shit. I curse too much. I find it difficult to make friends. I spent four years as a firefighter. I’ve run my own company since 1991. Bright lights, big cities. I’ve been an executive producer of a feature film. Some people don’t care, and that’s the biggest let-down of the human race. There are cures and solutions for many evils, but no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. The sound of the Italian language being spoken is as good as my favourite music. I hate corrupt cops. I relentlessly and passionately pursue anybody and anything that sets my soul on fire. I'm a dog lover, and all my dogs are considered family members. I have an obsession with photography. I have some close friends who are household names, but shall always remain anonymous. I’m crazy but not lazy. Losing a soulmate has hurt me badly. My two young sons are the nucleus of my universe. I love airports. I love freedom. If you are dishonest or disloyal, I can erase you from my life and memory immediately and permanently. I yearn to explore, dream about and discover as many friendships, deep connections and places, one possibly can in a lifetime.
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